I thought I was all done getting up. These last few months have been a disaster for me, mentally. I finally broke down a couple of weeks ago and accepted that the ~30 pounds I’ve gained (despite all my frantic, desperate, constant efforts) over the last 3-4 years is not going to come off again and bought myself some jeans at the Fat Lady Store. I haven’t shopped at the Fat Lady Store for around 14 years. It is a huge defeat for me to have to shop there again. But acceptance is the eventual result of the grieving process. Also comfortable jeans for the first time in about 15 years is weird.*
Last month I made a push again – watched my portions, avoided sugar, exercised an hour a day. Gained 2 1/2 pounds. When I say my metabolism is shot, this is what I mean. It’s astoundingly demoralizing to be stuck in this body. All my efforts seem to be for naught anymore.
So I’m surprised as anybody to find myself saddling up the ol’ diet-plan horse again and giving it just one more try. My friend Angie has convinced me to give keto a try. It’s true – in a lifetime of dieting I’ve never done keto, mostly because it seemed so complicated. I can count calories all day long, but having to also count fats, carbs, and proteins is like uhhhnngggggg so much work! But she sent me a bunch of resources for keto how-tos and it seems worth a try. Basically, eat meat, green leafy veggies, and fat. So I adjusted My Fitness Pal to the right ratio of Goals, and I’m giving it a shot. I know so many people that have had success with it, so why not me?**
Today is Day 1. I’m keeping it simple for now – veggies, meat, fats. Bacon and eggs for breakfast, chicken salad for lunch. For dinner we’ve got salmon and some broccolini. And cheese if I need a snack at any point. Curious to see how this plays out. I am hopeful for the first time in a long time. But guardedly so.
*It’s a fact. The entire time I’ve been a standard size I’ve been completely unable to find comfortable jeans. Fat Lady jeans probably have more give in them or something. They’re just more forgiving.
**This may be when we discover that my metabolism is truly, irredeemably shot. That’s always a possibility. That would be the possible why not.