That can’t be right

You ever step on the scale and just go….No. That’s wrong.

I did it this morning. I’ve been back from vacation and doing keto again for four days now. This morning, just to check in and see how things are going, I got on the scale and it said I was down 8.5 pounds. No way, body, stop messing with me.

I mean, obviously that would be awesome, because I gained 6.5 pounds on vacation, and wiping those out plus another 2 would seriously make my day. And yeah, when you weigh yourself the day after a transcontinental flight, like I did Tuesday, you are always going to be retaining a ton of water. But…wow.

I am optimistic for the first time in a long time. Because keto is, right now, and maybe only today, doing the thing I was promised – fast weight loss, feeling energetic and good.

It’s the second part I’m most amazed by, though. The first time I did keto earlier this month I suffered badly from “keto flu.” This time…not so much. I felt a little headachey yesterday (regular headaches, not a migraine, and if you know my history of chronic migraines you know a little old regular headache doesn’t much faze me), a little tired in the evening, but that’s been ALL.

And for the last two days I’ve woken up at 6am full of energy to take on the world. I am back to my harder workouts – two days now of kickboxing workouts FTW! I’m still rebuilding my endurance, but having a body that feels like even trying at all is a huge improvement!

I expect my body to probably regain a bit by the time I check in again next week – that is water weight without a doubt that’s been coming off these last few days and things need to equalize a bit. But, good start, body! Let’s keep it up!

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Back from Vacation and Ready to Tackle Keto Again

All right, when last I left you I’d been doing keto for about a week. I did another week, and lost another pound (2 week loss = 3 pounds). I was somewhat disappointed because I’d heard about how amazingly fast loss could be with keto.

Then I thought about it a bit. I know my metabolism is shot from decades of hardcore dieting. And compared to not doing anything, a loss of any kind is a fantastic result. And compared to the last time I followed “my usual” plan that’s always worked for me in the past -the low cal, low fat, counting calories, meal replacement, being hungry all the time, method I’ve used for about 15 years – it’s an absolute success. Because the last time I tried my usual methods for two weeks I gained 2.5 pounds. Really! Ha!

Ha ha! Yes! Fake laughter hiding real pain!

So if I consider that in those two weeks I could have lost nothing by doing nothing, or I could have gained 2.5 pounds by starving myself and tracking every bite, keto put me ahead of the gain. (Edit: I mean to say game, but I’m going to leave it as is, because it amuses me) And if what I’m going to see on keto is slow, steady loss then, well, I AM IN.

Me and my super handsome husband in Salzburg

Anyway, I did it for 2 weeks then I went on vacation to Austria for a week and a half. It was magnificent, we saw the Lipizzaner Stallions, and the Kunsthistorische Museum, the Natural History Museum, a day trip to Salzburg, the Naschmarkt, the Wien Museum, every Christmas Market in Vienna (I counted, um, at least 6, plus the one in old town Salzburg). I considered trying to do keto on vacation for about an hour, but once I got there it became plain that it would be impossible. Because in Austria the four food groups, based on my observation, appear to be: kaiser rolls, sausage, coffee, and cake (honorary mention for pretzels). So much cake. And so good.

It was a great time. And now I’m home and I started back on keto the day after we got home, so right now I’m on day 2 of the rest of my life. Maybe? I’m willing to give this a good long time to work. Perhaps most of 2018 if that’s what it takes. I’ll keep you all posted.

Week 1 of Keto

Can’t say I’m not disappointed. My results are not impressive – I lost 2 pounds for a week of effort and several days of feeling like utter and complete crap with the keto flu. In case you’re wondering, yes I worked the macros perfectly and was never once over on my target calories because I’m extremely disciplined and really good at dieting (20 years of practice, yo). I told y’all that my body was broken from decades of caloric restriction, and this is what that looks like. My husband lost 5 pounds. Usually the first week of a new diet one sees a big drop. If this is my big drop I am in for a very slow time.

Here are some of the keto resources I’ve been using, if you want to see your own very slow results (or if you’re a person with a functioning metabolism and you might get better results):

Keto In A Nutshell

Ketogenic Diet Food List

Carb Count Google Doc

Ruled.me Keto Diet Guides

So there you have it. I am going to keep working keto for a little while longer because, well, at least I saw SOME kind of drop, and I get to eat a lot of cheese and butter. My brain, which was raised in the 80s low-fat craze, is still marveling (and sometimes rebelling) at some of the things I’m encouraged to eat on this program, but my husband completely LOVES it so we’re going to continue.

And, well, I haven’t had any trouble feeling satisfied on a caloric deficit with this diet – usually I get to the end of a day and I think – wow, I’m 300 or 400 calories under my target calories but I have no urge to eat any more. I’m totally satisfied (although I still miss fruit) and that is a first.

On My Way

I have successfully achieved ketosis. I know this because my sweet husband, who is doing the keto diet with me, ordered some ketone tester strips online and we tested our urine tonight and we are both in moderate ketosis. This is the goal of the diet, so I’m happy to have achieved the first step!

As for the diet itself… I really, really miss fruit. I am a fruit fiend so cutting all fruit out has been a challenge (I have just completed Day 3). OTOH, I can eat just about all the cheese I would ever want, bacon and eggs every morning for breakfast, olives, sour cream, avocados…all the stuff I had to avoid for the last decade-plus.

But there is one thing I need to tell you. The “keto flu” is a real thing, and it is not messing around. The listed symptoms at the link are, “feeling drowsy, achy, nauseous, dizzy, and irritable.”  Yep, that’s been me the last two days. I got some electrolyte solution (Electro-Mix) and drank some today and I’m feeling a bit better tonight. I’m not sure if that’s because the electrolytes were what I needed, or I was just coming to the natural conclusion of the keto flu anyway. I’ll see when I wake up tomorrow, I guess. Yesterday and today when I’ve been feeling so bad I’ve only had 30 and 40 minute yoga sessions in me. I’m hoping to get back to something a little more intense, hopefully tomorrow or the next day.

I’ve been promised tons of energy and not feeling hungry, once I’ve passed through this initial crummy phase. I’m looking forward to that and hoping it’s all true.

Fall Down 7 Times, Get Up 8

I thought I was all done getting up. These last few months have been a disaster for me, mentally. I finally broke down a couple of weeks ago and accepted that the ~30 pounds I’ve gained (despite all my frantic, desperate, constant efforts) over the last 3-4 years is not going to come off again and bought myself some jeans at the Fat Lady Store. I haven’t shopped at the Fat Lady Store for around 14 years. It is a huge defeat for me to have to shop there again. But acceptance is the eventual result of the grieving process. Also comfortable jeans for the first time in about 15 years is weird.*

Last month I made a push again – watched my portions, avoided sugar, exercised an hour a day. Gained 2 1/2 pounds. When I say my metabolism is shot, this is what I mean. It’s astoundingly demoralizing to be stuck in this body. All my efforts seem to be for naught anymore.

So I’m surprised as anybody to find myself saddling up the ol’ diet-plan horse again and giving it just one more try. My friend Angie has convinced me to give keto a try. It’s true – in a lifetime of dieting I’ve never done keto, mostly because it seemed so complicated. I can count calories all day long, but having to also count fats, carbs, and proteins is like uhhhnngggggg so much work! But she sent me a bunch of resources for keto how-tos and it seems worth a try. Basically, eat meat, green leafy veggies, and fat. So I adjusted My Fitness Pal to the right ratio of Goals, and I’m giving it a shot. I know so many people that have had success with it, so why not me?**

Today is Day 1. I’m keeping it simple for now – veggies, meat, fats. Bacon and eggs for breakfast, chicken salad for lunch. For dinner we’ve got salmon and some broccolini. And cheese if I need a snack at any point. Curious to see how this plays out. I am hopeful for the first time in a long time. But guardedly so.

 

*It’s a fact. The entire time I’ve been a standard size I’ve been completely unable to find comfortable jeans. Fat Lady jeans probably have more give in them or something. They’re just more forgiving.

**This may be when we discover that my metabolism is truly, irredeemably shot. That’s always a possibility. That would be the possible why not.