Grudgingly

I got on the scale today to see how I’m doing getting those 5 vacation pounds off. First it flashed the same exact weight as last week, then it grudgingly flashed its final answer: Down a pound.

Damn. I expected two or three, because that’s what a normal result would be. I drastically changed my eating and cleaned it up – no cheats or treats this week. I drastically increased my exercise (from zero to daily, but not all they way back up to pre-vacation levels due to the cold I also got on vacation). All that for a measly, grudging pound.

I guess my previous goal of losing those vacation pounds in two weeks needs to be revised. It looks like I’ll be lucky to lose them in 5 weeks.

In case you were wondering, this is what a broken metabolism looks like. I have no doubt that my lifetime of dieting, then gaining, then dropping again have completely fucked my metabolism and now dropping anything at all is going to be a grand struggle. But, as always, what other choice do I have but to keep shoving that boulder up this mountain? I guess simultaneously work on loving and accepting my body as it is now. As it has become through all these years of trying to figure out how to keep and maintain it.

I know less now than I ever have. Don’t ask me for weight loss advice, it’s clear I don’t know shit, and what I’ve done not only hasn’t worked long-term, but has screwed things up beyond repair.

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8 Responses to “Grudgingly”

  1. beanolc Says:

    I don’t know; sounds like you know *something* if you made changes and got a loss. I haven’t seen big losses since my 30s– my scale has decimals and dude, if I see even 0.1 down I think I’m headed in the right direction. Of course, I’d MUCH rather see multiples of pounds gone, but my body doesn’t work that way anymore.

  2. Figgy Says:

    Have you had your resting metabolic rate checked? I was surprised to find that mine is average. It still means I cannot eat much, because I’m older and don’t weigh as much as I did two years ago.

    I’ve been stalled at a weight that’s about 15 pounds over what I’d like to be, BUT, my focus has been to learn to maintain the weight and not gain any weight back.

    I like that you are SERIOUSLY addressing your five pounds. That’s exactly what I would do. Thank you for sharing your journey.

    • Laina Says:

      No, I haven’t had that done, but it seems like it would be a good idea, at least to confirm with science what I already know from my numbers. Where do you get that done?

      • Figgy Says:

        Hi Laina, I got it done at Kaiser, as part of my Optifast program. It’s a simple test, where you breath into a tube for 10 minutes. It’s a fasting test, and you can’t do any exercise beforehand.

  3. Caron Says:

    I am the same way. If I let up for two or three days and eat whatever I want, I can easily go up five to six pounds on the scale. When I stop the madness, it usually takes me three to six weeks to get back to where I started. Doesn’t seem fair somehow. Yeah, it’s just the way it is. Sigh. 🙂


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