The day has come to get myself back on track. I attended my first maintenance class (they call it Phase 2) in years and years last night. It was a brand new teacher I’d never met before, but she did a fine job. Really the important thing for me is just being there. Just showing up accomplishes a couple of things for me without any other particular effort: 1. It signals that I am committed to doing this, and 2) I learn something new whether or not I think the class module is specifically applicable to me or not.
Let me unpack those a little bit. The first one is really the Laina magic. The thing that makes me successful is simply that I don’t break commitments to myself. Once I’ve made a commitment, even if I’m not super excited about it, I follow through. Sadly, I can be an utter flake on commitments I make to go places and do stuff sometimes to other people (sorry!), but if I’ve made something enough of a priority to myself to make a commitment to me, I DO IT. So while I’m still bitter and annoyed that I have to do this, I’m doing this. Just watch.
And the second one is that I learn by being in class whether it feels like it or not at the time. I’ll be completely honest and say that the first time I went through 18 months of Maintenance back in 2005/2005, I surely thought that a lot of it was BS and that I was wasting my time (but I’d made that commitment, see 1 above, so I went). I was cranky about having to spend time each week on it, and I thought that a lot of my classmates were incredibly dense at times. Often I thought the class modules weren’t even applicable to me and I watched the clock all through class, just trying to get through. I rarely spoke up or participated. But looking back, I learned almost everything I know about keeping it off in those resented 18 months.
Last night’s module was on healthy snacking, and while I’m planning to be on a Healthy Solutions-style diet for the foreseeable future, so it wasn’t directly applicable to my experience right now, there is going to come a time when the info which was presented to me last night, and which my helpful brain took in regardless of my feelings, will come in useful.
I would say that my attitude towards going to class these days is a whole lot better, now that I’ve had some hindsight to understand how valuable just being there is for me. These days I’m much more likely to speak up and participate, too.
And this morning, I’m off to a strong start. Had my healthy breakfast, completed my morning workout (while the cats mocked me with their repose), and I have a walk planned for later today after work, and after I take the cats to the vet later this morning (if I survive that).