Frustration and Acceptance

Last week I worked out 40-50 minutes 6 of the 7 days. Running was my form of exercise for 5 of those days, and I did a kettlebells workout the other.

This week I’m on track for the same sort of thing – yesterday I did 60 minutes of cardio conditioning using a DVD, and today I ran for 50 minutes this morning.

And yet…my body remains stubbornly the same size no matter how much I exercise. It’s frustrating. I track my food and exercise with MyFitnessPal and try to stay under 1600 calories each day, but no matter what I stay the same. I know there’s one way I could become smaller again – a VLCD diet. And I’m just not interested in starving myself again, only to watch as those pounds come back, again, over the next few months.

I remain 20 pounds above where I’d like to be. But 20 pounds beats 200. And when the only way to get them off is starvation, well. I need to work on acceptance.


5 Responses to “Frustration and Acceptance”

  1. Figgy Says:

    Hi, I’m still on my VLCD, and I’ve been reading your journey to keep me inspired. Thank you for posting about what it is like to maintain your weight loss. I have been thinking about what my plan is for transition and eating forever after, and have concluded that a primarily vegan diet, using no added sugar, oil, or salt is the way to go. I have been following Hungry Girl’s Kitchen blog, and reading “Eat to Live” by Dr. Fuhrman, and “Unprocessed” by Chef AJ.

    I am also inspired by your exercise habits! Wow! Right now, I am in so much pain that it’s hard for me to even walk 3 miles. I hope that improves when my weight comes off.

    Take care.

    • Laina Says:

      Thank you! I don’t think I really understood the full meaning of it when people told me “you’ll be maintaining for the rest of your life” when I began. I thought it would become habit and I wouldn’t have to really think about it, and it never occurred to me that the constant thoughts about whether I was doing “enough” or doing it “right” would never go away. It’s so much more a mental game than I ever thought it would be.
      It’s great that you’re already thinking about maintenance! Keep up the hard work!

  2. beanolc Says:

    I’m working hard to learn to accept my size. On average I’m happy if I know I’m doing everything I’m supposed to — eating right, exercising, living with moderation — but I still get stupid and stand on a scale sometimes.

  3. Melinda Says:

    I have the same issue. Eat right and exercise and still can’t shake those 10-20 extra pounds. I work on accepting being happy I am not one of the statistics that has gained back all I have lost. I try hard daily to be grateful that I am maintaining a big weight loss. Don’t know if I will ever achieve full acceptance of being happy where I am. On he other hand, I fear being too complacent would result in a flip and big gain. Not easy.

    • Laina Says:

      You really hit it on the head with this: “I fear being too complacent would result in a flip and big gain.”
      I have that constant fear, and I think it’s what I need to keep motivated. I fear that if I became too happy and accepting of my body as it is I will become complacent. It’s such a weird razor’s edge to stand on. I want to love my body, but I don’t want to become complacent and lose all I’ve worked to achieve.

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