Try Self-Love on for Size.

I just finished up about a month of near-constant business travel. I gave myself a pass, in a sense, because I was tired of berating myself for every decision I made. I decided to just do the best I could given the circumstances at hand, then worry about dealing with a gain once I was at home and better able to control my environment.

So yeah, my slacks are a touch snug now. But also? I’m sick of berating myself.

I was looking back through some old pictures recently, and I realized that at every stage of my life I’ve berated myself for the state of my body. I’ve always thought I was too fat or too pudgy or too wide or too whatever. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of the fact that on every happy occasion I have pictures of, I can remember also the little voice in my head telling me I should have dropped 10 or 20 pounds. That I am too big and need to work harder, I should be able to get down to a lower weight. And every time, I look at the picture now and I think, “I looked great then, why did I think I was fat? Why did I think I was too big? Why couldn’t I see myself as I was?”

I’m sick of it. I want to turn it off. I want other women to stop saying the same things about their bodies. Not just in front of me, but at all. Stop. Can we all make a pact to just stop judging ourselves? To accept who and how we are and if we need to lose a few, do it, but stop with all the body hate. I want to appreciate myself, and think I look fine RIGHT NOW. Not in hindsight, looking back at a picture 3 years from now.

I am saying this for myself as much as anybody else. No more calling myself a pig or fat or any other negative thing, in my head or out loud. We’re all a work in progress. We’re all doing the best we can.

Honestly I don’t even know how to stop it, it’s like this stupid voice in my head that has its own power source. Time to rewire the brain and turn that off. I am ready to be happy in my skin now. I am going to work to be happy in my skin now. If this is something you struggle with too, join me?

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3 Responses to “Try Self-Love on for Size.”

  1. Trystant Says:

    Reminds me of something I just read — a lot of these body self-love things floating around the web are pretty woo-woo or mushy BS, but this particular one seemed fairly straight-forward & doesn’t have *too* many clunkers http://thoughtcatalog.com/kovie-biakolo/2014/10/17-promises-to-make-to-your-body-today/

    • Laina Says:

      I really like those, thank you. I think I will bookmark that so I can refer back regularly, because I keep saying to myself, “I’m going to be better about loving my body” and then…the mean thoughts just creep in like I have no control over my brain whatsoever. Maybe if instead of trying to stop them I tried to replace them with something better, that would be a more feasible approach.

  2. Karen Williams Says:

    I’ve had a lot of success with retraining my brain using the same successful techniques used by evil politicians everywhere: if you repeat something often enough, people will believe it. If you start your morning looking yourself straight in the eye (in the mirror, of course) and saying, “I am beautiful” (especially while remembering exactly what you mentioned above), before very long you’ll believe it. It will become your brain’s default, and the “I’m ugly” and the “I’m fat” will start to leak out of your brain’s negative litany.


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