I’m maintaining my weight. Here’s my daily weigh in for the last several days:
And on and on. Every day, a little up a little down. But after losing a couple of hundred pounds, or a quarter of that, whatever, after spending most of a life desiring only one thing – to lose weight – to see a daily maintained weight that I’m happy with should be fantastic, right?
But…if you’ve spent your entire life defining success as a loss, seeing NO LOSS seems a little bit like a failure, even though it’s not. When I see a number that’s not less (or has even ticked up a pound or 3) I feel a slight sense of failure, even though I’m not trying to lose! My mind, completely unbidden, does a knee-jerk reaction with things like, “But I ran yesterday! I should be seeing a loss!” or, “But I’m working so hard! I should have lost!”
Even though I’m not trying to lose! Logically I can remind myself and settle my brain into contentment, but the instinctual, immediate response is to be disappointed that I haven’t lost. Even though I’m not trying to lose! Yet another of the many, many head games that go along with maintaining a large weight loss (for me). Am I alone in this?