The Continual, Slight Disappointment of Maintaining

I’m maintaining my weight. Here’s my daily weigh in for the last several days:

  • 188
  • 187.5
  • 189
  • 188
  • 192
  • 189.5
  • 188
  • 188

And on and on. Every day, a little up a little down. But after losing a couple of hundred pounds, or a quarter of that, whatever, after spending most of a life desiring only one thing – to lose weight – to see a daily maintained weight that I’m happy with should be fantastic, right?

But…if you’ve spent your entire life defining success as a loss, seeing NO LOSS seems a little bit like a failure, even though it’s not. When I see a number that’s not less (or has even ticked up a pound or 3) I feel a slight sense of failure, even though I’m not trying to lose! My mind, completely unbidden, does a knee-jerk reaction with things like, “But I ran yesterday! I should be seeing a loss!” or, “But I’m working so hard! I should have lost!”

Even though I’m not trying to lose! Logically I can remind myself and settle my brain into contentment, but the instinctual, immediate response is to be disappointed that I haven’t lost. Even though I’m not trying to lose! Yet another of the many, many head games that go along with maintaining a large weight loss (for me). Am I alone in this?

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6 Responses to “The Continual, Slight Disappointment of Maintaining”

  1. disappearingwoman Says:

    I can’t wait to be where you are. I’m struggling to get below 200–I’m 206 right now, so I’m getting there! I only weigh in once a week at the doctor’s office. I feel like if I weigh myself everyday at home that I get discouraged by the numbers. Keep up the good work!

    In other news, I’m giving you the Liebster Award to help draw more traffic to your blog. I hope you’ll like it! If you’re too busy to participate, I totally understand, but I just want you to know that I really enjoy your blog and want it to grow!  http://disappearingwoman.wordpress.com/2014/02/14/the-liebster-award/

    • Laina Says:

      You know, when I’m in a weight loss phase I only weigh once a week as well. I find that the daily fluctuations are a distraction when I’m working hard on losing. Once I’m in maintenance though, I feel like I need the daily visibility to help keep me on track. So I totally agree that weighing once a week right now is the right choice for your journey!

      Thanks, I’ll check it out! 🙂

  2. Dee Says:

    But you are a SUCCESS because you’re doing what you need to do to stay at a healthy weight! And you know you have to do those things to maintain. And you are keeping track, which a lot of people would prefer to avoid.

  3. marthamkaiser Says:

    Totally NOT alone. I’ve been maintaining a 100 pound weight loss for almost a year now and it takes a totally new mindset. I am running and want to lose another 10 pounds or so to make it a bit easier on my joints long-term but I am having a hard time switching back into the weight loss mode again. The worst feeling is seeing a big gain after a long run…I usually put on a few pounds of water weight immediately following – so demoralizing after putting in the effort to work out so hard. I know it isn’t “real” but hard to see after getting used to the scale dropping. I just stumbled upon your blog so I’ll have to read up a bit more…

  4. Lynn Says:

    Such a struggle for me. I know that I have gains in so many ways…my trainer yells at my constantly to not obsess on the scale….but I can’t help it.


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