The Countdown

Just a few more days until I can eat real food again – in a limited fashion, but real food nonetheless. I’m ambivalent about it because on the one hand, I would like to drop a few more pounds, although I realize that I will likely continue to drop a few more through the transition period. I’m worried about the maintenance of what I’ve lost and that I’ll be too easily tempted off the path of righteousness – I always worry, it’s what I do best, I think. And on the other hand, boy it will be nice to have a less constrained social life. I really miss deciding on the spur of the moment to go out to dinner with my husband, or to mix up a cocktail after a hard day. Or having brunch with friends on a weekend.

What I won’t miss, though, is the crankiness. It’s easy to only write about the great stuff – to document the success and the progress, but you know what else? My husband and I have been a bit more short-tempered than usual these last few months. We’ve been snapping at each other more, bickering over stupid little things more. My husband’s impatience behind the wheel has been epic because being hungry all the time? It’s hard. Seeing him short-tempered and easily angered has been especially hard because it’s not at all his nature. He’s usually the most patient, considerate, thoughtful person I know. Feeling myself lose my cool much more often than is normal has left me feeling ashamed more than I would like to admit.

As apprehensive as I may be about the end of the program and the beginning of the rest of our lives watching our waistlines, I’m happy that this hard few months is almost over.

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