Today was my weigh in day. I skipped last week for the usual reason, and had a very food-intensive weekend, so I was not expecting a happy number.
I’m down two pounds from two weeks ago. Looking back over the last two weeks, I always fixate on the things I did wrong, the food I ate that I shouldn’t have. I mentally filter out all the things I did right when I’m busy berating myself and concentrate on the things I did wrong.
But something has happened over the last 8 (almost 9!) years… I’ve learned to manage my weight by instinct. All of the meticulous skills I’ve built over the years are settling into habits that I do without thinking. I’ve learned to down-size my portions to the point that now when I splurge, I eat a small serving of something densely caloric and that is all I need to feel that I’ve had enough – even too much! I’ve reprogrammed myself to feel satisfied with smaller portions, and to expect to move my body regularly.
I think this is the ultimate goal of all of the years of journaling, measuring, tracking and weighing. To mentally assimilate the “right” ways to handle daily living, to know how to splurge and compensate for it. I’m now maintaining my weight loss automatically, even in challenging food environments. I automatically take the steps I need to balance my caloric equation every day. This is the goal.
When people say it can’t be done, send them here. It can be done, with a combination of hard work, a reasonable goal weight, and a rigorous focus on behavioral modification. I don’t give up, even when I have a bad week. I just modify and try harder. You can too.
And of course, none of this means I’ll stop working at it. It’s a lifelong journey. But today I’m savoring the feeling. Today, I feel as if I have succeeded.