During weight loss, posting a gain was a crisis. During maintenance, it’s a natural part of the process.
Intellectually I understand this. Emotionally? CRISIS!
This morning I was up two pounds. My mood has completely tanked and I started out with the usual self-flagellation that comes with a gain. The soundtrack that goes, “I have no self control, why can’t I get a handle on this? I know how to do this, I’m just too much of a pig to control myself, it’s not working, I’m no good at managing my weight anymore, I should just stop eating today…”
Blah blah blah. I still have to combat this defeatist thinking. Intellectually…I know better. I know that there are a bunch of perfectly valid reasons my weight is up two pounds today, and that this isn’t the slippery slope to constant, permanent weight gain that I always seem to think it is. Isn’t that strange? If I drop two pounds in a week, I never think to myself, “This is it – I need to be careful or I’ll never stop losing weight and I’ll waste away to nothing!”
Reasoning with my emotions is almost, but not quite, a losing battle. The “not quite” part is why I still do it. Intellectually, I’ve posted a gain this week because:
- I indulged too much last week at two Holiday parties I attended. Obvious.
- I ate tomato wedges with lavender salt for lunch yesterday – I ALWAYS retain excess water when I eat high-sodium foods. (see: Sushi)
- I’ve been giving myself permission to indulge regularly on the premise that my walking commute was adding exercise to my system that would mitigate the effects of the excess calories I was eating.
Notice none of those are things like, “I’m building muscle!” I’m not going to deny that I gained the weight the old-fashioned way. What I am doing is acknowledging that my experiment in loosening my caloric restrictions due to what I perceived to be increased exercise levels (but really wasn’t because I pretty much dropped any other exercise, other than a single visit to the gym last week) due to walking to work every day.
So, partly I was experimenting over the last week, hoping that my new routine would stand up to increased indulgence in treats. The results are fairly clear – that needs to stop.